Counselor Feedback

Dear A.,

You asked for some feedback. I was going to provide it anyway but I was delighted when you asked. It’s a sign of your professionalism and your genuine concern and passion for your work. As I've come to know and respect you, I expect nothing less.

You’ve chosen well in terms of your profession. You're good at this.

A few years ago I read an article in the New York Times about people in the caring professions. I loved it and gave a copy to my dear friend, whom I consider to be the best counselor I have met in the 40 years that I've been working with various counselors. I'd like to share it with you, as well.

It's called "The Pets in my Practice"

In the third-to-last paragraph, the author reveals what he describes as "greatest influence on the healing process in psychotherapy." I won't reveal it here, since it's best stated in context. But I will say that it's something that you've offered up naturally, and in spades. Thank you for sharing that gift with me. I am better for having known and worked with you.

In working on this feedback I was inspired to offer up "The 5 C's of Counseling." Except once I got going, I couldn't stop. I would now have to call it "The Many C's of Counseling." Below is the full list I came up with. These are all qualities that you've demonstrated:

Competence - it's grown over the past year as you've gained it, and will grow more, I'm sure

Confidence - which also rubs off on those around you 

Compassion - you have this naturally, a gift for someone in your role

Compelling - it comes from a foundation of being well educated and well informed

Considerate - you're a good listener, as demonstrated by your excellent memory

Caring - that you care is obvious, your concerns are genuine

Charisma - not everyone has this....you do.

Civility - credit your parents, family and teachers for a good upbringing

Credible - you're believable; see "Compelling," above

Creative - your response to my interest in mushrooms demonstrated this

Constructive - your ideas and inputs are helpful, you might be less shy here...trust yourself

Conscientious - you're always there, and present, too, which is even more important

Concern - clearly you have it, or you wouldn't be doing this

Curious - genuine curiosity makes you very effective

Cautious - sometimes too cautious, I felt, initially, but maybe not; it's a tough call

Critical - also a hard call; when to be, when not; you'll gain more with experience

Communicative - it goes both ways, and you are able to find the --

Connection - that's required for communication to take place

Calm - your office is like the eye of the storm; a welcome respite

Chemistry - ours was good; everyone should be so lucky

As an aside, I took it as a "sign from the Universe" that the best counselor I ever met turned out to live just two doors away from me, a 3 minute walk from my front door. It reminded me of the moment in The Wizard of Oz, when Glenda explains to Dorothy that she has always had the power to return home, but that she couldn’t just tell her about it because she wouldn’t have believed it; she had to learn it for herself.

At this point, Tin Man says, “What have you learned, Dorothy?”

In a climactic teachable moment, Dorothy realizes,

“...if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard. Because it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.”

Here's the whole scene:

"What have you learned, Dorothy?"

Again, thank you, and the very best of luck to you in the future.